october. last year by the end of you i was falling apart. my world had dropped out from underneath my feet. the universe has some lessons it needed to teach me. i was a mess with paralyzing panic attacks. i had crumpled into a miserable ball of loneliness with a shattered heart. the pain was immense and i temporally lost my sense of self.
the me of last october was unaware that the me of this october could even exist. but her i am. confident, self assured, graduated from school, surrounded by fulfilling activities, and about to start making a home with the man i love. more comfortable in my own skin then ever before. i relearned how to love myself by choosing to love myself.
now, i am happy but i am not naive. history has taught me to proceed with caution, stand on my own two feet, and take time for things that are fulfilling to me. i want to have faith that other human beings posses true compassion and unconditional love. i want to have faith that people won't turn their backs on one another to follow hurtful and selfish desires. i want to approach the people in my life with kindness and understanding free of judgment. most of all i want to trust. this has not come easy and i work on it daily but i choose to open myself to these things.
i have reconstructed my world and it is one filled with joy, laughter, imagination, and wonder. it is a world with the right ingredients and the freedom to be myself. i choose to be happy.
october is a good month to start making soups, break out the sweaters, and watch the leaves change colors. fall came to chicago while i was in new york in full force. michael and i were delighted to be home after two weeks of living in a hotel and more so jonesing for a nice home cooked meal. something the two of us would create together with thought and attention.
our meal turned out quite well. so i would like to share the recipes for all to enjoy.
this is the rosemary bread we made. we also added roasted pumpkin seed which ground up and sprinkled into the dough.
this is the chestnut soup but we used a silk creamer instead of half and half to make it vegan.
there has been a strange energy to this month so far. some negativity had been around. people i care about are having crises. this is a very important month for me. a month that i need to succeed and for things to go smoothly. a lot of pressure is on me passing my state boards. my cousins wedding is momentous. in addition i want the first days in our new home to be joys and airy.
so how about we turn this energy around? lets take care of one another. lets settle down and settle in. lets focus on whats important.
send out some love.